Thinking About Adopting.....Again - Blog
Being a parent to a child is one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences in life and, having enjoyed parenthood once, many people look to do it all over again and grow their family by adopting; be that by adopting whilst already having a birth child or children, or by adopting for a second time.
Both routes to extending your family have a lot of things in common including the likelihood of a fresh new set of questions. But rest assured we are more than happy to answer any questions that you may have.
Regardless of whether you are thinking of adopting for a second time or if you have a birth child, one of the immediate things to consider is the possible impact your decision to adopt may have on the existing child/ren in the family. As parents the wellbeing of your child/ren is paramount so taking the time to explore their thoughts, finding out their feelings about any decision to adopt is important. If you already have a birth child; find out as much as you can about the adoption process before you talk to them about what you are thinking. That way you will be able to answer any questions or concerns that your birth child may have about adoption.
If you are looking to adopt for a second time, then we recommend that you talk to your adoption agency first. They will help you think about the timing of your application and consider the age gap between your children. Whilst it is not set in stone, there is generally a recommended age gap of around 2 years between each child to help reduce the conflicts that could happen if the children were at too similar developmental stages. The age gap also helps to ensure that the child you adopted first has had plenty of time to feel secure in their home and developed trust with you as their new parent/s. Time spent researching is never time wasted so spending as much time as you can, is ultimately beneficial to all involved.
Another consideration if you are thinking of adopting for a second time or if you already have a birth child is about bedroom space. Parenting an adopted child is different to parenting a birth child. Adopted children, due to their needs and vulnerabilities, may be unable to share a bedroom with another child so may need a room of their own. However, there are always exceptions so please discuss the options with your social worker or if contacting us for the first time, our experienced and friendly team.
Have you thought about adoption leave? Whether you are thinking about adopting and already have a birth child or are coming back to adopt for a second time we do expect that one parent will take around 9 -12 months of leave to help the child settle and build trust within your family. Have a think about the financial impact on your family too. There is no way of getting around it, having a child is expensive and you must consider that supporting your growing family’s needs may impact on your work life even after your adoption leave has finished. Try and plan out your potential financial situation. We do not expect any adopter to be rich, but we do need to see that you are financially secure and stable enough to parent a child, especially a subsequent child /ren into parenthood.
Some people who are slightly older when they adopted for the first time or when they had their birth child often worry if age will play a factor in whether they could progress with the adoption process. However, there is in fact no upper age limit to be an adopter and your experience as a parent means that you will have so much to offer.
Talk to us. It is important to remember that as an agency, we will be here for you every single step of the journey. If you do decide that adoption is right for you then we will be able to help you start the process and support you with talking to your existing child/ren about adoption and the adoption process. Adoption Now also offers training specifically for returning adopters and families with birth children already within the family. There are also support groups ran by our mentoring service for families with children already within the family.
If adopting for the first or second time is something that you are considering and feel is the next step to grow your family, we would love to hear from you. Start by downloading our free Information Pack, it is packed full of the most up to date information on the adoption process. Take a look at our FAQ’s page and don’t forget to listen to our Adopter Stories by Adoption Now podcast series. Or you can also call our Information Line on 01204 336096 where our friendly, experienced team will be delighted to help you discuss any questions that you may have!